Help Patchman rescue the Sheeple from enslavement by the Drone army!

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We've had a wild ride - and not always a fun one - on Kickstarter for the past month. It's coming to an end now and it looks like it could actually make it!


Explain This Game

Don't Be Patchman is a pixel-art sneak-and-grow arcade game for Windows, Mac, Linux.

The Sheeple are in trouble - they've been enslaved by the Drones - and it's all Patchman's fault! Now it's up to you to redeem Patchman, rescue the Sheeple, and uncover the awful secret behind the Drone army. Stay out of sight, wear clever disguises, search the forest for seeds, grow fruits and plants, tear down propaganda, awaken the Sheeple to break the control scheme, and power down those nasty robots!


Rollercoaster Analogy

Our Kickstarter is sitting at 85% right now. 85%, pretty good, right? If you don't know me personally or don't hang out in the #dontbepatchman chatroom you might be thinking: "Woohoo! 85%! Dave must be PARTYING it up!" Actually this has been one of the roughest months of my life! I put on a positive smile most of the time but deep inside I'm like a dizzy wounded cat. Why? I'll try to explain it with an analogy:

Imagine you're on a rollercoaster, but you can't see where the tracks are going. At the top of the ride you see heaven, filled with riches and success! The cab launches straight up and you think that's where you're headed! "Woohoo! Party up there!!" Then the rollercoaster starts heading back down, fast. "Oh no... it's gonna crash into the ground! Let me off!!" Doubt, fear, uncertainty... all spiraling together! "Stop this rollercoaster! It's too big I wanna go on a smaller one!" Out of the blue, it hits a bump and starts going back up! "Staff Pick! Where did that come from? Let's stay on this ride!! Whew!" But then it goes back down again - "Argh it's never going to the top is it!?!" Up and down, up and down, up, up, arr!! Now is it at least understandable, why I'm like a dizzy wounded cat? If a cat went on a rollercoaster, it would for sure end up dizzy.


Analyzing the Data

When we brought our campaign public we were delusional. Kickstarter was the promised land: jump into the pool of ideas and make a large splash! But it feels more like a bloop. Mathematically, something like 1/20 people are going to be receptive to this game (or whatever that number is) so we need to get the inverse amount of views to find those people (20 times, for example). So far our video has ~2000 views. That's not enough. At our funding goal of $25,000 we would need 2,500 pledges at $10. At a 10% signup rate (close to what we have now) we'd need 25,000 views to theoretically find our audience. And how do you get those views? Well it's not a mystery. We just aren't in the position to get that kind of traffic, for a variety of reasons. But our point is, it seems like the days of getting a huge Kickstarter success just on the merits of a unique game are long gone, you need serious marketing chops now just to get traffic.


All Aboard the Rollercoaster!

There is plenty of room on here, so please make your pledge and hop onboard!

KICKSTARTER - Kickstarter.dontbepatchman.com

With only three days left, this is your last chance to not be Patchman!

Steam GreenLight is Live

Steam GreenLight is Live

News

Featuring a new trailer with 100% freshly-squeezed gameplay footage!

Dastardly Devious Drones!

Dastardly Devious Drones!

News

Fast, dangerous machines that give Patchman heaps of anxiety!

Introducing: The Sheeple

Introducing: The Sheeple

News

Collect symbols, visit vending machines, and eat yummy packaged food! Ignore those tubes tho...

Nectar - From Simple Concept to Complex Creation

Nectar - From Simple Concept to Complex Creation

News 1 comment

Another plant in our game. Grow it, water it, harvest it, throw it, eat it, and spit it out!

Comments  (0 - 10 of 14)
Pancake_Ninja132
Pancake_Ninja132

Must. Track. NOW!

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NaturallyIntelligent Creator
NaturallyIntelligent

Live Playthrough on Twitch.TV - Twitch.tv

We'll be doing a live broadcast on Twitch.TV this Saturday March 14th 7PM GMT! That's in the afternoon for most people in North America (1PM our time).

Our primary goal is to beat Level 5.

Watch Here: Twitch.tv

Reply Good karma+2 votes
Fractalscapes
Fractalscapes

This game is really coming along nicely... looks awesome, and i wish the whole team the very best of luck with it, and any future ventures.

Reply Good karma Bad karma+4 votes
ezraanderson
ezraanderson

~
I backed it, this game looks very original, can't wait to play my beta copy :)

Reply Good karma Bad karma+3 votes
NaturallyIntelligent Creator
NaturallyIntelligent

Thanks! Can't wait to give you your copy!

Reply Good karma+2 votes
ezraanderson
ezraanderson

Looks great

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Guest
Guest

Looks Great :)

Reply Good karma Bad karma+2 votes
NaturallyIntelligent Creator
NaturallyIntelligent

We have some big announcements this week and next!

Sign up to our low-traffic video game mailing list:
Dontbepatchman.com

Reply Good karma+2 votes
HappyLarry129
HappyLarry129

This looks quite interesting from what I have seen. All the hopes for the best on this game! Tracking.

Reply Good karma Bad karma+3 votes
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Don't Be Patchman
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Twitter

Latest tweets from @notpatchman

RT @NaturallyIntel: @ValiantCheese Our indie game "Don't Be Patchman" was coded entirely on #linux, so it definitely should be in your list!

Mar 2 2017

Don't Be Patchman: Episode One - Released on Steam Early Access! Kickstarter.com

Mar 1 2017

RT @matt_j2: Checking out GameMaker, and trying to re-create Gateway To Apshai-style dungeon generation T.co

Jan 26 2017

RT @NaturallyIntel: Patchman - #indiegame - Windows Early Access now available! Store.steampowered.com T.co

Apr 29 2016

How about a new t-shirt, Patchman Lebowski? Available at the Expo booth this weekend! #lebowski T.co

Apr 29 2016

What Sheeple daydream about during office meetings... #screenshotsaturday #indiegames #indiedev T.co

Nov 21 2015

Are you Patchman? Then head on down to our table this weekend @RetroGamingExpo and check out our pixel-art game: Don't Be Patchman!

Oct 15 2015

Don't Be Patchman Windows Version Delayed, A Bit Hilarious #Linux Gamingonlinux.com via @gamingonlinux

Oct 14 2015

Valve hits a Linux landmark—1,500 games available on Steam Arstechnica.com

Sep 21 2015

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