Another month has gone by since we talked about the main inspirations in the video game scene for Mindworld. Recently, we have been working out a lot of things, but we still found some time to deliver you an insight into one of Katherine's dream journal entries.
I switch off the light and get into my bed. A simple routine I can do without much thinking. Leaves more time to think about the past. Though I’m not sure if I don’t want to simply forget.I close my eyes, slipping slowly into sleep, into the world of my mind. The world of my dreams.An orange light shines through the window, as I open my eyes again. I stand up and as I step into the light I can feel happiness flowing through every cell of my body. I must be dreaming. I take a deep breath, and enjoy the smell of flowers. It seems to be spring. “Come on.” A cold shiver runs down my spine when I hear his voice. “Get up. The film starts in an hour, and we want to go for a walk before that.” Jack’s voice.
Then it hits me. The feeling of peace is shattered, by despair rushing through my body. Once more I feel it in its full intensity. He’s dead. But then an idea flashes through my mind. I can have some time with him. I can see him. At least for a little bit, before I’m awake again. Before I’m alone again. I hear him leaving and closing the front door. I rush after him, scared of losing even a single minute with him. We walk down the street, talking like we did before the accident. He makes me laugh. I listen to his voice, enjoying the sound.
We decide to go for an ice cream and sit down on a bench. I got myself my favourite flavour: lemon. It reminds me how long I haven’t eaten ice cream. My teeth hurt a bit as the cold ice touches them and I can taste the refreshing flavour of lemon. I close my eyes and feel the warm sunshine on my skin. Suddenly he kisses me. I feel his rough lips touching mine, his tongue exploring the inside of my mouth. I stop breathing for a moment, and try to concentrate fully on it. It stops as soon as it began. Then we stand up, and start moving towards the cinema again. Our next stop is a florist. Jack steals a few lilies, as we’re walking by. I put them in my hair. Like children we laugh and run away, but the florist didn’t see it or didn’t care.
Finally we arrive at the cinema, which seems to be completely empty apart from us. Jack walks straight into a cinema hall. Confused I decide to follow him. The film, that has already started, seems strangely familiar. At first it looks like a normal love story. There is no sound, but the pictures tell enough. It’s about a couple, but you can never see their faces. You can watch them fall in love; it reminds how I and Jack first met. I feel a lump in my throat as I finally realize it: these are from my memory. But then I smile, watching the memories of better times. I turn my head to Jack, longing for another kiss, but he’s gone. I look frightened around me, but I’m not in the cinema anymore. My seat seems to be the only one, and apart from screen I can see nothing but pitch black darkness surrounding me. I can feel cold fear creeping up inside of me as I realize that the dream is getting out of control.
As I look back on the screen I see my final memory with Jack. It’s the accident. Devastated I turn around and simply go into the opposite direction. I don’t want to be reminded of it again. I only feel the need to forget, the need to get away from it all. Not knowing where it would end. Not knowing where I am going. Then a light appears in front of me. With nothing else in sight, I head for it. As I come closer I can see that it’s a light bulb. Cautiously I touch it. It’s cold. But then the light seems to get stronger. Dazzled, I close my eyes and look away. I stumble away and the light gets weaker. As I open my eyes again, I’m somewhere else.
I walk through a faceless crowd without hearing neither steps nor muttering. People are walking by, without any sign of recognizing me. A cold breeze drifts by. Looking into the direction it's coming from I spot a hall, with its gates wide open. It’s the only thing I can see apart from the endless sea of heads. Making my way through the crowd I spot a small boy, sitting on the ground. As I approach him he raises his hand, holding a splinter. "Who are you? “He asks me. A small cloud of smoke comes out of his mouth as he speaks. I take the splinter and see the reflection of my eye, getting caught in their bottomless deepness. As I look up again the boy is gone. I continue my way through the crowd. Before I can reach the hall it starts to snow, covering everything under a thick white blanket. Suddenly everybody starts starring me, with their mouths wide open. Confused I stop, and look around myself. I wince as everybody starts screaming in a high-pitched tone. I start panicking, cower down, close my eyes and shield my ears. Then: silence.
I open my eyes, and find myself in the darkness of my room. I’m alone once more. As I close my eyes they’re slowly filling with tears. Once again I cry myself into sleep.
More articles covering other positions in the team or background information about our development are going to be published monthly, every second Friday of the month.
- Kjell 'iQew' Bunjes
(Team Leader and Art Director)