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Welcome Officer and congratulations on successfully completing the rigorous abridged commissioning course! This is a glorious day, your aim as you join King George’s army to help us finally bring this horrible war to an end by Christmas 1984. With you commanding our troops in the trenches, we know we will be chomping on bratwurst at the Kaisers expense by Christmas morning! Pay carefulattention to all of the information in the Kings Warfare Manual. It may save your life, and more importantly bring victory to your King and Country. The King!

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Gratuitous Tank Battles Manual
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