greg "kablammo" cassel was born on mount everest to a family of wealthy orangutans. from the age of three and a half, it was clear he was a prodigy, particularly when it came to games of hackysack. he trained under several buddhist monks in order to refine his methods, and eventually went on to become the most renowned hackysack player in the solar system, even beating some of the top athletes from jupiter. he married catherine zeta-jones, natalie imbruglia and debbie harry, and lived happily ever after.
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