stevenrodriguez56808

Describing myself is probably one of the most difficult chores for me to do. I feel I can best be described as a dreamer, I realize that I am only getting older but I still find myself very frequently wishing for "childish" things. Adventure, love, exciting places, monsters, ghosts, aliens, giant robots, anything. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong era, that I would have been better suited for the age of swords and arrow. Again that may just be the child from within demanding more from life. My youth was incredibly normal, grew up in the suburbs of medium-sized American city, ran about and play like all kids. Climbed trees and fell out of them, some of those falls I still remember. Did pretty well in school for never really trying, that is except for math and science which interested me somehow. I do have my regrets from my school age, mainly for not applying myself and seeing exactly how much potential I had. For the longest time I wanted to make video games because I played them quite a bit and liked them alot, especially SNES games, mainly Squaresoft titles. It was amazing how close you could get to 16-bit pixilated characters and how something that didnt even look real could make you feel such an array of emotions. Anyways I digress. This changed during my 7th grade year, when the twin towers were hit, when "9-11" happened. I'm sure I did not understand entirely what was happening before me but I won't forget being washed over by a sense of overwhelming duty. I decided then that I would do something, the military was set in my mind. I joined the Marine Corps on my own without my parents' approval. It was nearly on a whim that I choose the Marine Corps, the promise i recieved that I would be sent straight to the front was all it took. For that opportunity to make my life count, to give me a purpose even in death, there was nothing more that I could ask for. Because without purpose, would we even really exist? My opportunity to see the front never came... and now I'm puzzled and lost. I'm generally soft-spoken and many say I'm too nice. They are prob right but I think that is how I'm trying to make peace with myself, how I try to atone for my sins of never seeing combat for my country. I may not leave a large imprint on the world, but I will try my hardest to do right for those I come across. Maybe they will remember the kindness I showed them and repay it to another and thus keep the cycle alive. Perhaps that is all I was ever meant to do...