Our hero, the delinquent teenager Bort, has gotten himself totally splinched on that most dangerous of hallucinogenic substances: Notcohol™. Now he's careening through the Nathaniel P. Habernasher Memorial Art Museum on his skateboard, tagging as many paintings as he can before the museum's crack team of guard spaniels can catch up with him … assuming all that Notcohol™ doesn't take him out first.
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