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Dear tree. It’s me the guy who drew you. And I hate you.

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Dear tree. It’s me the guy who drew you. And I hate you.


A year ago everything was all floaty & untouchable. Our game was an idea. Safe in our heads, untouchable by the ridiculous demands of reality’s particulars. The art was all gestury and whatevs. Our game design was all: k, so we just need some swords ‘n’ some baddies, and boom, game’s gunna be awesome. The game would to take centuries to beat, there was going to be 1000 items, and there would be a war of such unfathomable spectacle that you’d vomit pure joy at the push of a single button.

Then something happened… our tree was too tall, and kinda naked. It wouldn’t fit fully on a wide screen, and looked odd when cropped (well it looked odd in general but I couldn’t see that yet). It was the first particular problem of many to follow. Reality snuck in. A simple problem. Fix the tree.

So I redesigned it, no big deal. And I loved the new tree. Thought it looked phenomenal (lol not really amirite?). But then later, we discovered it was now too wide. The canopy of leaves was covering far too much. Crap. The change I made was for nothing. I would have to rework it again. And plus, dear god was it ugly. As my drawings got better the new assets were starting to put the tree to shame.

Well, third time’s the charm, and I truly thought I had done it that time. Once and for all. The tree was pretty, it was not too wide or too tall, and had little holes in it so you could see yourself walking behind it. It was done. Finalized. Forever.

Then something happened. The game was getting big. Really big. Decisions were being made every day and we were criticizing everything. Nothing was airy and untouchable anymore, this game was going to happen and needed to be flippin’ gorgeous. Which is when two little problems flew into that tree like a pair of vile chickadees spawned from hell. The treetop needed variety and also needed bigger holes to see through. And so, in the face of utter bleh, I put it off, for a loooong time, right up until today. Which is why I’m ranting about it now.

And so here it is. The new tree. A tree not only more colourful, not only sporting a newly designed trunk, but is also easy to reshape and full of holes. It looks great with the the now established art style, and… and… k listen, screw you tree. You prick. You jerkwad. You damn vile piece of foliage. At this point I have no idea if I’m done with you or not. And, honestly, if it’s not you it’ll be something else. A rock. A bush. A blade of damn grass. Just… Just seriously, please, tree, have mercy. Leave me alone. I’ll give you anything. Fruit. Flowers. You want a little squirrel??? Take it, just let me be so I can finish this game. Or I swear to god, if you make me spend any more precious time on you, I’ll pull rank and draw a great animated asset of fire and burn you and the whole forest down. Don’t think I wont, cause I’ve made dragons. It’ll totally work within the context of the story. So yea… so there. Don’t test me tree, cause I really, truly, hate the crap outta you, you dream crushing bastard.

Yours truly, your bitch, the Tree Drawer.


Great rant is great.

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