Comments - timmy1308

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode!

>> minecraftcodes.info <<

Pokemon-online.eu

Best...simulator...ever. Seriously, if you're at all interested in competitive battling, download this.

Allium Sativum is the scientific term for Garlic.

Busy with school too, but school let's do fantasy writing! Sometimes. So, check out my new paper.

Doesn't like paragraphs...

Hey, I'm going to edit it and post it as a download, so expect to see a better version in a little while.

Ok, I'll see if I can fix that. Thanks

Posting my huge short story :D

Very nice, but is this the whole story? It seems like it's more of an excerpt than anything else. Your writing style is nice, and I noticed a very good selection of vocabulary. However, there are a few places where it could be smoothed out a bit. Other than that, I love it! The only thing is that the beginning, and the end left me wondering what the heck is going on.

Thanks! I'm pretty pleased with it, but I need to do another...

Awesome, there should be a way to get it on though

Wow, this is hilarious!

Oh man, Caramell Dansen is going to be fun! See if you can sneak in a few subtle references too, like to different games.

Nice, I quite like it!

I'm gonna have to start calling you DSM: Deep synth master!

I also like how did the faded ending, that was so cool!

Awesome! I really like the the chimes, they go great when mixed with heavy synth! The only thing is that it's a sharp cutoff at the end of that first loop in the beginning, you might want to look into that. Aside from that, amazing song! Was this with tracks you made yourself, or premade?

This is probably my best song, please check it out!

Sendspace.com

Sendspace.com

K, thanks man! I'll check it out!

I do enjoy writing :) I was told to do a "creative writing" with a plot twist, and based on something ordinary. Not to boast, but I AM in 9th grade, I'm pretty proud of my writing skill. Thanks for your support!

Hey, just want to run a school assignment past you guys, please check it out. Moddb.com

btw, it's a bit quiet, so turn up your speaker.

Well, space is always an excellent ground for horror, as shown by the Alien movies ;) One thing you might want to consider is cross genre writing. Technically, sci-fi/horror is cross genre, but you could also do something like a space setting, with artificial jungle environments, or battle simulations. This open's up plenty of space for horror. Another thing would be non-tangible horror, such as being trapped and crazy, or something along those lines. I've never been one for horror, but It would be cool to see occult/fantasy elements in a scifi story.

Well, I'm not great at writing reviews plus this in the light of greenishcrab's excellent posts, but here are my suggestions. First and foremost, as it's already been said, there are quite a few basic spelling and grammar errors. It is also important for the format to be more organized, when a story is choppy like this, it could hard for the reader to see the thoughts as a story, it should flow a bit more. And, of course, dialouge. However, my original criticsim is that your style and names are a bit cliched. How many times have we seen ship, or speeder, or pistol in a sci-fi story? Even the character names are a bit drab. You might want to add some more originality in your names for objects and people. It wouldn't help to add more to the imagery, but that's harder. Adding to the imagery is also a part of emotion as Cahir was saying, which is a very important part of any story. This is basic stuff, but you can't forget to use powerful verbs, adjectives, and openers. With the right words, you can make anything into a powerful mental image that the reader will be able to see, understand, and enjoy. Suffice to say, I do really like your work! I would love to see a refined version, or even a prequel/sequel in the same universe! Keep it coming, and don't forget to check out my work sometime! ;)

Thanks! I would appreciate any suggestions or edits from everybody, and please keep in mind that this is a rough draft. I hope to post my first story soon, or at least some of it. :)

Favorite shade of purple, this is epic!

Yeah, only the games for me, the cartoon sucks.