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My self-summary:
I'm a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I'm looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening with a wealthy widow (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe and sound!). Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.
What I’m doing with my life:
I'll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging
I’m really good at:
Sublimating my baser desires.
The first things people usually notice about me:
Is my absolute lack of threatening cues. People are like, "I feel so safe and comfortable around you," and then they usually follow it up with, "I really couldn't imagine you ever murdering me," at which point I tell them that they are ONE HUNDRED PERCENT RIGHT.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:
M, Dexter, Silence of the Lambs, As I Lay Dying (book), As I Lay Dying (band), American Psycho (book and movie).
The six things I could never do without:
My shovel (for gardening)
My meathooks (for curing turkey jerky)
My chainsaw (for logging or clearing brush)
My mother's underwear (as a keepsake)
Children (they are our future)
My freezer (for keeping my perishable goods from spoiling)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what it would be like to wear someone else's skin (in a metaphorical sense).
On a typical Friday night I am
being seen by plenty of people in plenty of different places, such that I always have an alibi in the INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY event that I come up as a suspect in a murder trial... WHICH WILL/HAS NEVER HAPPEN[ED]!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I sometimes wet the bed.
I’m looking for

Girls who like guys
Ages 20-27
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners

You should message me if
you want a guy who WON'T murder you.

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