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Controlling three clunky robots with unwarranted technological quirks, you must help them work together to overcome randomly generated obstacles on a desolate Earth.

Post news Report RSS Whistleblower Reveals Illegal Galactic Plan

A leaked video suggests that the Solar Colonization Front is training robot operators for illegal terraforming missions outside the Solar System.

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Something is happening at the Solar Colonization Front and they are trying to keep a tight lid on it. The video leaked by an anonymous whistleblower suggests that SCF is training robot operators to terraform a distant star system.

The leaked footage has spawned global outrage as it implies that the Solar Colonization Front is in direct violation of the Long Reflection Treaty. The treaty explicitly forbids space colonization outside of the Solar System until humanity as a whole has settled on its key values that are worth spreading throughout the Galaxy.

"Are we good people yet?" - asks Kahl M. Anchabbi, founder of the Long Reflection movement. "The answer is, we don't know. Here's a fun thought experiment for you. Imagine that a hundred years ago we would have had the space-faring technology to colonize the galaxy. Do you think that scaling up the moral philosophy of the 1980's to a galactic size would have been a good idea? Do you want to live in an intergalactic human society where minorities are routinely discriminated against based on race, gender, sexuality and even their political viewpoints? Sure, we have come a long way since then, but who knows what kind of monstrous values we still hold. Today, we have the technology to cross the vast emptiness between the stars and plant the seeds of the Intergalactic Human Civilization. But first, we MUST get our moral values straight."

According to the widely popular Long Reflection movement, the only responsible course of action is to train one billion moral philosophers, lock them in a room for ten thousand years, and have them hash out the Theory of Good before we set solar sails for the stars. Their proposal has reached universal support and culminated in the signing of the Long Reflection Treaty by both the United States of Earth and the Coalition of Martian Settlements.

The Solar Colonization Front denies the accusation, saying that the video is a Holofake. Recent audits have surfaced evidence that the organization is investing heavily in automated terraforming technology. This interest is justified by their mission statement: "Accelerate the advent of a multi-planetary human species." From what we heard, living in a tin can covered in mud can be pretty dull, so turning Mars into an Earth-like planet is high up on any settler's to-do list.

The Solar Colonization Front is recruiting robot operators for extra-terrestrial duty, which doesn't help with calming the enraged masses of Long Reflection philosophers. They see it as yet another piece of evidence that the SCF is up to something against humanity.

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"We are not planning to leave the Solar system yet. There's so much work to be done here. We need every pair of hands capable of holding a controller. Enroll now!" - Instructor Burns

Whatever may be the truth, the Solar Colonization Front can expect a heavy crackdown. The Long Reflection Enforcement Bureau will leave no martian rock unturned in its investigation.

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